I like that we both have A Boy Who Lived, too - not just for the Harry Potter reference, and the odd connection of the glasses and them being the same age and such (if we were neighbors, they'd probably be friends, haha), but because of that last word: lived. After I was told in 2009 that would never happen for me, lived was the best word to hear when James was born in 2011. I'm sure you know what I mean. <3
Thank you, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief and loss when it comes to pregnancy is such a strange, odd thing. People never talked about it, and then one day, we all did, and I'm glad. It's sad how many people have lost their pregnancies or children.
One thing I didn't like (and if I did this in my comment, I so absolutely apologize, because it was NOT intentional) was that I used to belong to several online communities that discussed miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant mortality. And it was always this game of "well, my baby was 26 weeks, so 22 weeks is nothing" or "at least you didn't HOLD your baby." The competition between people who lost their pregnancies and/or children was exhausting, and I slowly backed away. Why measure grief? While I do feel more sadness regarding my stillborn daughter, Sophie, it's not because I don't grieve the other losses. It was the fact I was alone and gave birth alone, and that her birth father was an abusive ex who told me he hoped she died or that I suffered. And then she did. But losing twins at 13 weeks sucked. So did losing a pregnancy at 7 weeks.
Anyhow, ALL grief and loss is valid, and it's not this odd competition where your loss is better or worse or whatnot. They ALL suck. I really hope my comment didn't come across in an unfeeling way. Every damn loss hurts. I feel for you, even while recalling my own pain, because this entry is about YOU. And I want to make sure you know that, and you know that I honor that deeply. *big hugs* <3
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-11 09:04 pm (UTC)Thank you, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief and loss when it comes to pregnancy is such a strange, odd thing. People never talked about it, and then one day, we all did, and I'm glad. It's sad how many people have lost their pregnancies or children.
One thing I didn't like (and if I did this in my comment, I so absolutely apologize, because it was NOT intentional) was that I used to belong to several online communities that discussed miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant mortality. And it was always this game of "well, my baby was 26 weeks, so 22 weeks is nothing" or "at least you didn't HOLD your baby." The competition between people who lost their pregnancies and/or children was exhausting, and I slowly backed away. Why measure grief? While I do feel more sadness regarding my stillborn daughter, Sophie, it's not because I don't grieve the other losses. It was the fact I was alone and gave birth alone, and that her birth father was an abusive ex who told me he hoped she died or that I suffered. And then she did. But losing twins at 13 weeks sucked. So did losing a pregnancy at 7 weeks.
Anyhow, ALL grief and loss is valid, and it's not this odd competition where your loss is better or worse or whatnot. They ALL suck. I really hope my comment didn't come across in an unfeeling way. Every damn loss hurts. I feel for you, even while recalling my own pain, because this entry is about YOU. And I want to make sure you know that, and you know that I honor that deeply. *big hugs* <3