LJ Idol // Literary Prize Fight - Week 10: Nadir

[megatronix]

I keep dressing for what the weather was yesterday.
When it was only mildly chilly,
and I had chosen my big winter jacket.
Hands on the wheel,
how I wished I could rip away my fire prison.
Removing the glass barrier,
colder air rushed in and
gave some mild reprieve as we sped down the freeway.

Hours ticked by, the sun and earth spinning as they do.
Time to walk to the dog.
I took out my other jacket,
the nylon shell light in my arm as I scooped it up
and swung it on, like a cape.
We headed out,
into the dark night,
together.
Or he headed out on his own mission, focused, singularly-minded in his work.

I stood on the bridge, waiting, wooden planks beneath me.
Underfoot; salt.
Someone had anticipated the freezing temperatures. The potential for ice.
But I didn't see it; I had looked to yesterday.

The salt crystals, which in their likeness, conjure images of snow,
crunched between the treads of my running shoes.
Snow, though, is a soft crunch.
Salt has cutting edges; it warns
and warms the bridge
from home to the wild outdoors.

The frigid air seeped in through my sleeves,
through the neck of my jacket, down my sternum, gliding easily over my
would-be, should-have-been, supposed-to-be
protective layer.

I keep dressing for yesterday.
And I'm cold.

Comments

[tonithegreat]

Ah, this is so relatable! Lovely wordsmithing.

[megatronix]

Thanks, I'm so glad you thought so! :D

[adoptedwriter]

I live where it can be 20 degrees F upon waking...40 F at lunch, 60 by 4 PM and back to 20 by 11 PM. I hate winter. I felt chills while reading this piece. (which I loved for its detailed imagery.)

[megatronix]

That's quite a range!! We've been having 55 degree days and like 34 degree evenings over here lately. I don't mind winter. It has its charm. And its way of making me contemplate how the weather is a metaphor for life which leads to poems like this! hehe!

I kind of do hope we get snow at least once before Spring. We usually do, often in February.

Thanks for the compliment!

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Ah! I like what you did with the prompt here. Nice!

[megatronix]

Thank you! :D

[bsgsix]

Oh, this feels familiar. I know that is vague, but something about that cold yesterday, and the upcoming cold in general... yes.

I'm still mulling this over in my mind, but that's a compliment. If I'm thinking, it's clearly something that has captured me (otherwise, why mull it over, right?). :) <3

[megatronix]

Ooh yes, for sure, I was hoping it would grab some people enough for them to want to mull it over and/or re-read and see something deeper. I'm glad it caught you and feels familiar. That's a cool compliment. :)

[encrefloue]

So interesting how the piece seems to say so much through omission. I love the feeling of weight this has achieved with such a strict economy of words.

[megatronix]

Ooh, I like that phrasing "economy of words." Thank you so much, I'm glad you could sense that weight there, that there was more under the surface. I was going for that, but had felt insecure about whether people would pick up on it. I'm so glad you did!

[kehlen.livejournal.com]

This is so annoying when it happens.

[megatronix]

Indeed! But of course, as is true of many poems, it's not really about that at all. :)

[halfshellvenus]

There's such a foreboding sense to this, the weather and not correctly judging it a metaphor for something else.

With the biting, unforgiving salt on the bridge, I wondered about whether the narrator was contemplating suicide, or had found herself suddenly homeless, or was simply at a loss in coping emotionally for other reasons.

The cold and hopelessness are seeping in, because whatever this terrible state is now, she just wasn't prepared to be there.

[megatronix]

YESSSSSSSSSS!!! Thank you, thank you, *thank you* for getting it. I feel so "seen", you know what I mean?? I was like, will this come across at all, and then even seeing just one person understand what I was going for means the world to me.

This is autobiographical, and don't worry, nothing so serious as suicide or homelessness, but I basically tied in a lot of feelings over the past year of things not working out how I expected, of worries I carry with me, plus contemplating the impending anniversary of my miscarried-baby's due date, etc. But I also wanted to not be super specific, because I wanted to allow for the reader to see themselves in that desolate place, if they've ever been there, and recognize that they're not alone in that feeling.

Your interpretation has been immensely validating, thanks so much for commenting!